In Search of Pie

Demand more bread and better circuses!

2009-07-14T12:47:00.000-07:00

Here we are in the middle of the collapse of the American empire and I have to say I'm highly disappointed in the caliber of circuses being provided.

All we're getting is a bunch of bloggers on the right and left (as if there was such a thing) shooting snarky comments back and forth during commercial spots in the Michael Jackson funeral coverage. Or we get the Sarah Palin drama or that guy who had the babe in Argentina.
Are we that friggin' stupid that we fall for this shit? Do we care? I don't think so. I think our imaginations have just been dumbed down by the constant years of listening to political bullshit.
Meanwhile the masters at Goldman Sachs laugh at us and send their minions in the government to vacuum up any left-over dollars they may have missed on the last go round.

I say if they plan to bring it down around our ears, they should at least pony up for a good show!
Get a clue, rich dudes. Look to the Roman Empire. Those guys knew how to put on a good show.
They had food orgies and people fighting wild animals and each other...to the death! Come on, anyplace that has a vomitorium has to be party central.

So what do we get? Some pathetic Court TV trial to send Bernie Maddoff up the river while all the real crooks pose for the camera in the background. They could have at least injected a little drama and action into it.
I would have rounded up all his "victims" (oh boo hoo, the bad man lied to me) and sent them into a big room with Bernie. Then I would have turned out the lights and let them all bitch-slap each other for being such dumb-asses, while filming it all with night vision cameras.
Then I would have opened all his properties to the homeless that live closest to each, turned them loose and filmed that too. Let's see some major breakage and pillaging a la Katrina. Let's see some people down at street level getting some! Let me see a guy who hasn't had a bath in 6 months jump into some silk sheets!

Here's another idea. We can take all the newly empty shopping malls and turn them into arenas.
(ooohh look...jobs!) The multi-story malls would work the best.
The upper levels would have a few beer stations, food courts and clear viewing areas of the bottom floor.
Down at the bottom level, we herd in a troupe of homeless people. Maybe start with the guys that hold signs on corners, they're really irritating. Then turn the lions loose on them.
Talk about a show! The lumpenproles who still have a job would go nuts. Nacho sales would go through the roof.
We could even have special nights...Illegal Alien Night or Home Grown Domestic Terrorist Night.
If they work it right, every minority group could be whittled down one by one. Then it would be childs-play for their goons to round up the few survivors and send them to the work farms.

It seems the masters are an unimaginative bunch though. If they played it right we could all have fun in the apocalypse.

Write your representative now. Demand more bread and better circuses!

The world's laziest blogger...

2009-06-03T20:41:00.000-07:00

...That's what my brother Tom calls me, and I have to say, guilty as charged!

But in my defense I have to say, I'm retired! I don't gotta do nothing.

The sky is falling...

2009-02-21T13:51:00.000-08:00

As anyone who doesn't live in a Himalayan Cave knows, the economy is circling the drain. Everyone is blaming everyone else for the problems. I can hear Oliver Hardy now, "Well, another fine mess you got us into Stanley!"

The collapse of our society could be a real consequence, no longer a mad idea relegated to the sci-fi movies.

If I have to spend all my time poking through a smoking pile of garbage with a stick while wearing animal skins, that's gonna cut into my 'searching for pie' time. Matter of fact, there could come a time when pie no longer exists. This is bad.

I guess when it comes down to it, there will probably be only 2 choices: live in a walled village with a bunch of unarmed peaceniks, dressed in robes and sandals, or...join a Mad Max type biker gang! I think if there's any chance of getting pie, the biker gang will be more likely to find it.

Guess I better get to working on my leather, fur and spiked collar!

The birthday boy shoutout

2009-02-06T10:26:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to my foster father, Henry Hale. He's passed on now but was a great influence on me while growing up. It was pretty amazing that we shared the same birth day.

And here's to Bob Marley. We were born on the same day, same year. Cool runnings man.

Some others today: Ronald Reagan ( the old guy on Tales from Death Valley), Eva Braun, Rip Torn, Francois Truffaut, Tom Brokaw, Fabian and Rick Astley (Of Rickroll fame.)

Happy birthday, all y'all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

The birthday boy...

2009-02-06T10:03:00.000-08:00

It's absolutely astounding. I've made it to 64.

I still think like a 15 year old, but when I go to leap out of my seat, I find it's much like pulling myself up a steep mountain face accompanied by much moaning and groaning. Getting old ain't pretty.

Aside from the aches and pains, life ain't half-bad. I don't have to go to work, I get to do what ever the hell I want, I can eat pretty much anything and I can still ride my motorcycle.
Plus I live in a beautiful area and have 2 good dogs. Can't complain.

Think I better go shower up and get dressed. Susan is getting a haircut and will be back soon. We're going out to breakfast which is one of my favorite indulgences. Waffles! Syrup! Yum...

Frankenputer

2008-12-30T23:43:00.000-08:00

Here's a sad story oft repeated...

The day before I was going to back up all my photos and data, my computer's motherboard burned up. It was 6 years old, which is about 120 years in computer-years, so I guess I should have been expecting it.

"It seemed so healthy and happy just the day before." said Derek Dork as he weepingly surveyed the smoking ruins.

I called around to the local shops to ask about parts and was greeted with derisive laughter and phones being slammed back on-hook. The computer guy here in town was a little more kind. He's Japanese and polite. He simply said, "You ah escrewed", with a grin.

It seems computer technology jumped light years ahead while I was happily playing "Redneck Rampage" on my out-dated box.

However, on my last trip to California, my generous brother-in-law gave me his old server tower. He and my sister had made the quantum leap to shiny, beautiful, brand new wonderful MACs and the old XP box was just a toe stubber.

I brought it home, cleaned it up and loaded all my shooter games on it. That only took a couple of days of interminable downloads and upgrades from Microsoft's website.

I used the old server to search the net for a vintage motherboard that would use the new $40 RAM chip I bought just before the crash. Damned if I was gonna throw it out before I got my 40 bucks worth of use out of it!

Eureka! Ebay is awash with old crap and I found a brand new, in the box, ancient motherboard that would take my Pentium 4 processor and the RAM. Just plug it in, right?

Guess what? All this old stuff comes WITHOUT manuals or installation CDs.

I managed to find a manual online that was pretty close. Some of the connectors on the board didn't match the pictures in the manual, but luckily the guy that sold me the board was very helpful. I sent him close up pictures of the areas in question and he was able to help me out.

Great invention, the digital camera.

Feeling like Dr. Frankenstein, I got the motherboard in, transplanted the brain and gave it the juice.

"Full power, Igor."

"Yes, master."

Zapppp!

"It's alive! It's alive!"

Having got past the smoke test I turned in. I fell into a fitful sleep and for some reason, dreamed of crowds with pitchforks and torches banging on my front door.

The next morning I started up the monster and it wouldn't boot. Something to do with the hard drive. I didn't want to format it as it has pictures and files we want to keep. How to retrieve them, I'll figure out later.

Then I turned on the old server. The fans were screeching like an old fart who has just seen the monthly report on his 401K and it wouldn't boot up either.
The more I tried, the worse it got. Crap!

I then remembered the old server had 2 (count 'em, 2) hard drives. I took one of the drives and stuck it in the old box, formatted it and installed my 2002 copy of XP and once again..."It lives!"

I spent hours at Microsoft's site, downloading service packs, upgrades, fixes, and on and on and on...

I also did dozens of searches through computer help boards looking for vintage drivers.

Man, there's a lot of geeks out there! I was comforted to find I wasn't quite at the bottom of the pool. Close, but not bottom.

But I'm getting some mileage out of that new-antique $40 RAM chip, by gum!

So now I have a new goal. To keep Frankenputer running as long as possible.

I just hope it doesn't follow the classic tale where it turns on it's creator and throws him from the parapet.

...more follows...

Moving along...

2008-12-28T23:13:00.000-08:00

When last we saw our intrepid hero, he was struggling to clean out his garage...a task akin to cleaning out the Augean Stables.

I have to say, I had it all spiffed up in there for about 2 weeks, then the piles started reappearing. Oh well.

The months have sped by and various things have happened.

One happy note, my brother and his wife moved here from Georgia. We spent Christmas together, the first time since the 70s, I think!

He's still getting their apartment squared away so we'll do some fun stuff later. He's retired too.

The weather here is pretty soggy, so I've been sticking close to home. Some days we get hail, snow (doesn't stick), rain and sunshine all in the space of an hour or so.

It's that time of year when migrating whales pass our coast, heading north. We've been out to the point a couple of times but haven't spotted any yet.

Town is pretty much empty and quiet this time of year with everybody holed up in their dens. That includes me.

I subscribe to Netflix and found they have "Instant Movies" that you can watch on the computer. I've been searching their vaults and along with the good stuff they have a teriffic collection of B-movies, zombie movies, biker trash and bad horror flicks. I'm in heaven!

I bought some cheap speakers with a port for headphones and I can watch all this crap without bothering my sleeping wife. I'll let you know when I catch a particularly good one.

more to follow...

Post-4th report

2008-07-12T22:26:00.000-07:00

We had a busy week around the 4th of July holiday.

As I said previously, my sister, her husband, their dog (mini-Schnauzer) and Ural sidecar came up to visit and play. Things are sort of tight here on the rancho (as in only 1 bathroom, with 2 dogs and 5 cats trying to get in to watch whenever you go in there) so they stayed down in Old Town at the former Youth Hostel which is slowly becoming a hotel. Very slowly.

It's a great location right on the little harbor with the best Mexican restaurant on one side and a great coffeehouse on the other.
Their dog especially loved walking around the Old Town area. She's a bird poop inspector and had plenty of bird poop to sniff and classify.

Susan's friend, Susan also came to town. She's allergic to our cats so she stayed in a motel just above my sister's place overlooking the harbor and Old Town. Seems they gave out free ice cream to the guests over there.
The motel is like 2 blocks away so The Susans were able to hang out a lot.

I took Tom on a motorcycle tour of the back roads and logging roads in the area. It was great fun. I even got the hack up to 45 mph on one logging road. I never did much riding in the dirt but with 3 wheels under me I wasn't much worried about sliding and crashing.

The next day we loaded up the hacks with guns and went up to my favorite shootin' spot in the woods.

Now, Tom competes in long range target shooting with a WW2 Swiss Army rifle. By long range I mean 1000 meters. I can't even see that far. He's a damn good shot!

By contrast, I follow the Jet Li formula of shooting. You know, firing 2 pistols at once while sliding along a warehouse floor with burning trucks exploding all around me. I also specialize in suppressive fire with rifles which keeps everyone ducked down so I can make an escape.

Needless to say, practitioners of each style think the other is a weirdo.
But we had fun.

Next up was the 4th of July parade. I had planned to enter us in the parade (all you have to do is get in the line) but didn't get up and out early enough. So we drove the hacks down and watched. It was pretty short but enthusiastic.

After that we went to the City Park and listened to an acoustic all-girl band, ate Lions Cub hamburgers and talked to various citizens. Nancy & Tom had to move from the hotel to a beach house that day too.

That night, the city shot off the fireworks show. I stayed at home with the dogs and cats because they get freaked out but I can see some of them from the back porch.
The Susans watched the show from the motel balcony, probably the best seat in town. It was quite spectacular.

My sis & hubby gave it a miss as they were pretty tired. They're not used to the sea air.

On the 5th, Tom & I entered our hacks in a car / bike show down at the shopping center parking lot. We had a ball.

I put some camo netting on mine and had military stuff all over it. Binoculars, compass, a web belt with canteen and flashlight, my airsoft rifle, gas mask, a fake German helmet and a walkie-talkie.
You should have seen the old vets faces when they saw it! I heard more war stories than you could shake a stick at. I also had a few kids sit on the bike while mom took their pictures.
Meanwhile, Tom started taking people for rides around the parking lot. That was a big hit with the hot rod ladies.

When it came time for prizes, a 1950 Schwinn/Whizzer won the motorcycle prize. It was a real beauty and had a lot of modifications like dual pipes and a racing cam.
Actually, we both knew we were toast when he pulled the Whizzer in. But we had a good time, ate excellent BBQ tri-tip sandwiches, met a lot of fun people and got sunburned.

Everybody left town on Monday and I started getting serious about getting the garage squared away. I made good progress but now I'm going to re-arrange it all again and build some shelves and stuff.

I think I'll throw a party to celebrate getting it done. Throw some burgers and brats on the grill and play my collection of outlaw biker movies.
Yeah!

Aftermath

2008-06-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

Just in case anyone is still reading this blather and wondering what happened, I thought I'd follow-up with the latest.

I took the van in to the shop and had her checked over. She got a clean bill of health! The trans seems to have survived the ordeal. They gave me a list of things that will need looking after in the future but it just had the usual stuff like brakes, tires, etc.

So it looks like we got away clean. The old beer-hauler and the old fart live on to party together another day!

Since my return I've been working diligently in the garage, trying to get things squared away. It's looking pretty good compared to what it was like previously.

Come hell or high water, it will be squared away this summer!

Took the Ural out a few times and am quite pleased with it. It has a lot of power and Susan rated the ride for the passenger as much improved over the old hack. She misses the windshield so I may build some sort of screen for it when I get the workspace set up in the garage.

It keeps coming back to that garage, huh?

This is the big tourist week here in Bandon, the run-up to the 4th of July, a big dog show and the annual fireworks show.

I like living in a town that people actually spend money to come to on vacation.

It makes me think I'm on to something.

Along with the other tourists, my sister, bro-in-law and their dog are in town.

It seems bro-in-law Tom took a liking to my old hack when I was staying with them down in California. So much so that he ended up buying a new one for himself. He's already put more miles on his than I have on mine!

So anyway, he brought his Ural along and we'll be riding the local roads for the next few days. We also have some off-road days planned so we can make sure the 2 wheel drive option works on our bikes.

His bike is painted in arctic camo which is black, gray and dirty snow color. It's really a beautiful paint scheme.

I guess I'll just keep this blog running until I run out of space or things to prattle on about. Right now though, the Margarita I had at dinner is putting me to sleep. That's what happens to old guys. One drink and ...plonk.

Thanks for reading...talk to ya later.... pictures to follow...

Some random pictures in no particular order.

2008-06-09T10:59:00.001-07:00

Ashland, Oregon April 15, 2008. The start of my trip.

Fishing museum in Hayward, Wisconsin. This outboard motor was made in Russia and taken from a boat carrying Cuban refugees in the 60s.

A big fish.

This is where my wife Susan lived in Ontonagon, MI when she was in the 6th grade. Her grandfather owned the motel, it was named Shorty's Cabins.

A sample of trophys at an archery shop in Riley, Oregon.

My pal Tasha. She lives in Harriman, Tennessee. If anything happens to Ron & Kate, she'll be my dog.

The guard cat at Jake's Evil Lair in Texas. Don't let the look fool you.

Sign at a restaurant on Route 66 in Oklahoma.

Stats. AMENDED!

2008-06-08T18:58:00.000-07:00

Holy Moley!

Here I am going on about being a wizard with spread sheets and I really screwed up. I had to add in some rows during the journey and forgot to add them into the formula!

So here's the lowdown for those interested:

total miles... 10,176 !!!!

total gallons... 505

total cost for gas... $1884.00

avg mpg... 20 mpg

So Brunhilda did even better than I gave her credit for.

I spent the day cleaning out the van, airing the bedding, etc. Also took a short drive around town and the transmission seems to be OK, no slipping or heating up. I'll take her to the shop and have a transmission service done to appease the gods of the mechanique.

I think I got away clean.

Some random thoughts and stats.

2008-06-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

People ask me "How was your trip?" What can I say? My trip was just about dropping off one bike, picking up another and visiting friends and relatives. But as I lay around my house thinking about it, it was so much more.

How so? I'm not sure as I'm still processing all the data, but I feel there's some sort of underlying meaning to everything I saw. Or not. Who knows?

My old friend Larry M. from Grass Valley in California once advised me (when we were both working stiffs) to put all the data I could into spread sheets. I had just learned Excel and was having fun with lists.
This has become almost an obsession with me and I put some trip info into spread sheets. Actually it's pretty interesting.

total mileage....4, 170

gallons of gas used....232

total spent on gas ..... $1884.96

repairs and oil change .... $70.15

average mpg .... 17.97 mpg

highest mpg .... 24.61 mpg from Ontonagon MI to Clayton, WI (no trailer)

lowest mpg.... 13.55 mpg from Eureka, KS to Chelsea, OK (empty trailer and strong headwind!)

highest price ... $4.20 (in remote MI and OR)

lowest price ... $3.38 (AZ, MN, OK)

nights in motels... 13

total motel cost... $671

nights in campgrounds... 15

total campground cost...$292

It was too hard to keep track of food and odds-n-ends (like my cool hoodie from Hayward, WI) but I did manage to log in $350 towards meals.

I probably could have trimmed down here and there. For example, I didn't realize I spent so many nights in motels. Better planning may have cut that down.
But as my friend Victoria S. tells me, it's only money, living life is what's important. Guess I have to agree with that!

The one thing I'm really happy with is my van Brunhilda. She didn't do bad for an 18 year old ex-beer delivery truck. She never failed to start, stop or turn. She never leaked and everything (besides the AC) worked fine.

What can I say? An old fart in an old van and we both made it.

Soon as I get some more scratch together I plan to explore more of Oregon with Susan and the Merry Mutts.

...more follows...

The final run.

2008-06-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

Leaving Wyoming, I got onto Highway 30 towards Pocatello, Idaho where I would get onto Interstate 86 for my run across the southern part of the state. The scenery is very pretty in a rugged way but there wasn't much to see from the Interstate.

There were some displays of the Oregon Trail at the rest stops that were pretty interesting. It was hard to imagine that I could cover in 2 days what must have taken months for the covered wagons. Plus I could stay in a motel instead of sleeping on the ground with a saddle for a pillow.

I passed a sign for Mountain Home Air Force Base at one point, which reminded me of an old Air Force buddy (whose name is long forgotten) who always talked about how great it was to be stationed there. Back in the 60s this must have been a small town indeed.

I wish I could have explored more but I didn't want to abuse Brunhilda any more than I had to. She was running fine and the floorboards didn't heat up as long as I stayed out of overdrive.

I passed a lot filled with military surplus vehicles but missed the exit and couldn't find my way back to it. Too bad. They had tanks and big troop carrier trucks all done up in various camo schemes. I wonder how much a tank would cost? Or what kind of mileage one would get with a troop carrier?

After a one night stay in Idaho I headed for the Oregon border and crossed over into Ontario, OR with a big grin on my face. When I spotted a small Bi-Mart store I knew I was back home and cheered!

I found Highway 20 and headed west across the high desert. It was beautiful through there. A small river ran along one side of the road and rugged hills on the other. The wind had died down and the sky was bright blue with puffy clouds. Best of all, there was very little traffic so I was able to cruise at 50-55 mph unmolested. I stopped often at pull-outs along the river just to listen to the water and birds.

I pulled into Riley, which is a store and a post office. Population is 3.

Highway 20 meets Highway 395 right there and I had always wanted to explore the area around 395. But again, I didn't want to push my luck with Brunhilda. Staying on the main road seemed like a prudent choice.

It was getting late in the day and the lady in the store said I could park in her campground for 5 bucks! I looked out and realized there WAS a little campground and outhouse. Done deal! The population would be 4 for the night.

I spent the evening drinking chocolate, sitting in the store talking to 2 teachers who had come into "town" for dinner (sandwiches.) They were closing down the school for the summer and needed a break from the cafeteria food. The store owner made me a microwave burger and we had a great time.

After the teachers left, I hung out with the owner swapping tales about life and how it always throws curves when you're expecting a slow ball.

She had led a very interesting life and she and her husband were now raising their grandson. The husband had an archery shop attached to the store/gas station/diner full of stuffed animals and skins.

It was cold during the night and there was ice on my windows in the morning. I woke up just before dawn, opened the sliding door and watched a beautiful desert sunrise from the comfort of my sleeping bag. I finally forced myself out of my cocoon and got back on the road.

It was 0530 and the sky was clear as a bell.

I headed into Bend which I had visited in the 80s. Back then it was a small town with ice cream parlors and sporting goods stores catering to the skiers in the winter and mountain-bikers in the summer.

But all good things pass and I was dismayed to find myself in rush hour traffic in some big city that didn't even resemble the Bend in my memories.

I filled up with $4.00-something gas and got out of there as fast as possible, going south on Highway 97.

I turned right at Highway 138 which runs up to Diamond Lake then down into Roseburg. Traffic was very sparse so I was able to cruise and admire the BIG trees and snow-covered mountains. I even spotted snow still under the trees. Twice I had deer run out in front of me.

I had to stop a couple of times for cat-naps but made it to Roseburg then over the mountains to the coast. Brunhilda was running fine and when I pulled into Bandon there was a fine drizzle coming down.

We made it!

...more follows...

Wyoming, the working man's state.

2008-06-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

I wanted cooler air and I got plenty of it in Wyoming! It felt great to put on boots, long pants and a hoodie.

Like they say, be careful of what you ask for. I got cool air but it was blowing in my face at 20-30 mph.

I made it to Gillette, which is famous not for razor blades but for energy. That's energy with a big E. The town was filled with motels and they were all full. Lots of government cars and oil company vehicles filled the lots which meant this was a town feeding at the government trough and did not bode well for my budget.

I didn't feel like camping in the storm. The vision of me wading to the bathroom in the middle of the night while hail and lightning crashed down around me convinced me to seek warmer shelter.

I bypassed the motels that had a bar next door, hoping for some peace and quiet. (Of course, back in the day that would have been my first choice but time changes everything, even me.)

I eventually found a place where the owner gave me a break. He could see I wasn't a high roller so only hit me for 80 bucks (or about half a tank of gas.) The other places in town were $100-200 a night, he pointed out.

He put me upstairs where I had a window that faced the plains and mountains so I left the curtains open and watched the spectacular lightning show. The storms were really violent and the NOAA kept coming on warning of tornado watches. I hoped my van and bike would be there in the morning.

In the morning the storms had blown past and I checked on the sidecar. It had water in the tub but was otherwise OK. I sopped it up with a towel as best I could figuring the high winds would dry off the rest.

I had to change my plan to continue on I-90 to Seattle because the weather was pretty bad in Montana and northern Idaho, so I called my buddy Larry R. back in Bandon. He's from Wyoming so I asked him how to get home.

His recommended route would drop me back down to I-80 at Rawlins, then onto Highway 30 into Idaho. Off I went into a driving headwind.

As I headed southwest towards Rawlins, I reached over to pick up something on the floor in front of the passenger seat and found it was hot!

I pulled over and looked under the van but didn't see anything unusual. The van's mileage was up over 177,ooo miles at this point and I figured the combination of 18 years of use, headwinds, ethanol fuel and trailer weight was taking a toll on the old 4 speed automatic transmission. I had been driving in Overdrive (or 4th gear if you will) as much as possible and now I noticed it was slipping. It seemed to be OK in Drive so I pushed on. I knew the old war-horse wouldn't let me down.

I stopped a lot to let Brunhilda cool down and got to chat with a few folks along the way. My biggest impression is this is a woking-person's state. And I mean the kind of workers that wear coveralls, have mud on their boots and callouses on their hands. They drive big trucks fitted with mechanical robot-looking attachments and do incomprehensible things out in the wilderness whether it's raining or shining.

It seemed like a tough life around there, but nobody is belly-aching about it. They just do it.

I made it to the aptly named Rock Springs KOA that evening after a grueling drive. The whole campground was gravel and there were trailers parked in every space. Even the Kamping Kabins were full.

In the morning I realized what was up. The whole place got up early and went to work. Then a school bus came through picking up kids. It seems the KOA is full of people who live in trailers. I imagine because they can't afford a house. It looked like there was just a handful of travelers like me.

Next to me a motorcycle pulling a trailer was camped. The trailer opened up and made into a cool tent that had a space in front where you could stand up straight and had the sleeping area under a sloping cover. It looked pretty cool but I wonder how good it would be if you couldn't find level ground?

...more follows...

South Dakota. The Mount Rushmore State.

2008-06-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

South Dakota is the home of the famous Mount Rushmore and the even more famous Wall Drug Store. I'm sure there are plenty of other things to see, but if you are on the interstate, the signs lead you to believe otherwise.

I stopped in Mitchell to fill up the gas tank and to get a look-see at one of the recommended sights, the Corn Palace. Here's the official story:

"The original Corn Palace, called "The Corn Belt Exposition" was established in 1892. Early settlers displayed the fruits of their harvest on the building exterior in order to prove the fertility of South Dakota soil. The third and present building was completed for it first festival at the present location in 1921. The exterior decorations are completely stripped down and new murals are created each year. The murals are designed by local artists, Oscar Howe having been one. New materials are applied to the building with each mural depicting an important facet of the lifestyle of South Dakota. These murals require thousands of bushels of corn, grain, grasses, wild oats, brome grass, blue grass, rye, straw and wheat each year."

I glanced in awe at the edible building wondering how many cats it took to keep the mouse population down, if the corn popped on really hot days and if deer snuck in at night to eat the facade.

It seemed the present mural is in honor of "American Heroes." As I drove by I saw depictions of police and firemen among the heroes.

Now don't get me wrong, I think those guys have a tough job that I would never do, but I feel the label hero is being used fast and loose in this country. A hero used to be somebody special, not just any joker in a special uniform...sports or otherwise.

If you ask me, a real hero would be the guys driving garbage trucks. Imagine getting up every day before dawn and dealing with that job.

Just think what our world would be like without them!

The thing that really impressed me about Mitchell was the price of gas. I had entered into $4.00 a gallon territory.

Oh, one other thing I liked was the gang of young hooligans buzzing around town on their 3 and 4 wheeled ATVs. It seems it's legal to drive them on the streets there. In the winter they drive snow-mobiles around town.

Now that's some real forward thinking by the local politicos. It makes far more sense to drive an ATV around town than a gas-sucking, 2 story 4X4 SUV.

I wish they'd wise up in Oregon and let us do that. Just think, it would mean more jobs (the politicians' holy grail) for ATV builders and a lot more fun for me.

As I progressed along the interstate, dark clouds with lightning flashes started brewing up ahead on my left and right. Feeling like Moses parting the waters, I progressed down the middle, staying dry.

The next big attraction was Wall Drug. They have billboards for hundreds of miles around and people around the world have taken to putting up signs showing the distance to Wall, SD and the free ice water they advertise.

The famous Wall drug turned out to be Fisherman's Wharf set in the middle of a boundless parking lot. I managed to see the sign rising above the tops of the masses of parked SUVs, while the drivers wandered the sidewalks telling each other where to find the cheapest gas in town.

I pressed on.

The next attraction was the Badlands and Mount Rushmore. As I drew closer, the clouds grew blacker and the lightning more spectacular. When I got to the turnoff, I was in a rainstorm that was even more violent over the famous Mount. "Catch ya next time." I said as I pressed on, crossing into Wyoming.

...more follows...

On the Interstates.

2008-06-06T14:26:00.000-07:00

The first night, I made it to Harrisonville, Missouri which is just south of Kansas City. They promised fast internet but it was painfully slow and I was unable to even get my email. The AC worked great though so I cranked it all the way up. I guess it was more the humidity than the heat that was getting to me.

I walked over to one of those new (new to me anyway) fast-food places where they have Taco Bell, KFC and Burger King all in one place. The conflicting smells made me feel a bit woozy so I got my tacos to go.

One funny thing, there was a farmer in line next to me who was a dead ringer for the actor Robert Duvall! Even his mannerisms were pure Duvall. I could hardly keep a straight face and I'm sure he was wondering what the hell I was grinning about. I kept thinking it could have been Duvall doing some research for a part.

Back at the motel I checked the weather channel and saw tornados and thunderstorms moving through Nebraska and golf ball sized hail in North Dakota, but it looked like I could make it up to South Dakota and across on Interstate 90, so that was the plan.

The next day was a steady slog along the interstate through Missouri and Iowa, broken only by reststops, thunderstorms and lots of road construction.
It seems since that bridge collapsed in Minnesota, every bridge in the midwest is getting worked over.

I crossed into South Dakota and stopped at their "Welcome Center." The lady there gave me a bunch of tourist info along with the free state map and gave me the low down on all the tourist sites along I-90. If I had stopped to see everything, it would have taken days to get across the state.

Unfortunately, gas prices were rising every day and I was bucking a strong head wind which, coupled with pulling the trailer, was reducing my gas mileage. I was really wanting to just get back home.

When I got tired, I started looking for a motel or campground. I found a great motel in White Lake, SD. The owner was friendly, it was super-cheap and they even had a couple of wild cats roaming around the property. It was pretty much out in the boonies so all I had was cable TV.

I tried sitting out on the porch to watch the sunset but mosquitos drove me inside where I watched the RFD channel (Rural Free Delivery...an old addressing system the American post office used to utilize.)
And guess what was on? "Jolly Joe's Polka Hour!" From the look of the dancing couples, it looked like they may have been playing down at the old folk's sanitorium. There was one 40 year old blonde, dancing with the old guys, who was probably somebody's grand-daughter.
Even though I had no partner, I joined in, dancing in my underwear. It was a fine show and a good time was had by all.

I checked the weather and it looked like my luck was holding. I was dodging the tornados and most of the worst storms. All I had gone through were smaller rainstorms.
I sort of wished I could see a tornado but figured it would be better not to. I had seen the clouds roiling around and that was scary enough. I can't imagine what it would be like to see a funnel hit the ground and start heading your way.

...more follows...

Oh air conditioning, where art thou?

2008-06-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

After a few hours of heat I realized I had to get cooler! I took off my t-shirt and dug out a pair of shorts which I hadn't worn since moving to the coast. The sun was relentless and I soon sported a sunburn on my left side and my left knee.

I spotted a Wal-Mart in one town so I stopped and bought a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of those sandals with velcro straps. The shirt was loose and airy but covered my burn spots. I covered my left leg with my hat, put on my shades and pushed on to the promise of cooler air.

...more follows...

The run for home.

2008-06-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

I got into Bonnerdale and picked up my bike! It looks great. Mike did a great job on it.
But the weather was so hot and humid I felt really wrung out. (Makes me wonder how the hell I made it through 2 years in south-east Asia. I guess I was a couple of years younger back then.)

Anyhow, after loading up it was afternoon so I decided to get into some air conditioning, plan my route towards home and get a fresh start in the morning. I checked into the local motel where the owner recognized me from my previous stay there a month ago and told me the rates had gone up $4.00 since it was now "high season." I guess my minor celebrity of being a repeat customer didn't warrant a discount.

I walked down to the local Sonic Burger and did some carbo-loading for the ride home.
I'd never seen them before but Sonic Burger is all over the south and they actually have carhops. There's no place to sit inside but all the ones I've seen have a patio set-up so you can eat outside. They also have great pineapple milkshakes.

Back in the motel, I turned the AC on high and sweated through the weather channel report. Bad news! The route home through Texas, New Mexico, etc. was experiencing records high temps in he 100s. No way was I going that way!
There were also tornados and thunderstorms passing through the midwest, but the northern states like South Dakota and Montana promised cool temps.

I had been watching gasbuddy.com whenever I had an internet connection and noticed the states in the middle of the country had the cheapest (relatively speaking, of course) gas.

My plan was to go north to the Washington coast to see my brother-in-law in Bellingham so I had to break my cardinal rule and backtrack a bit.
It looked like if I went north on I-29 to Sioux Falls then west on I-90, I would be able to dodge the tornados and hit some cooler air up there.
Remember, my van has no AC, which is no big thing out on the coast but I was to find out how much it was worth.

I awoke in the morning to find all the bug bites I had been accumulating in various campgrounds were itching like mad. On top of that, the temp was already higher than the hottest summer day in Bandon and the humidity was making me sweat even while I was in the shower.
I loaded up, turned on the 55X2 AC (Americanism for rolling down the windows) and headed back the way I had come.

Even with all the distractions, the drive along the back roads was great. The scenery in the woods and the small towns along the way was a knock-out.
I managed to navigate my way through Fort Smith this time without ending up in Oklahoma and got onto the Interstate heading north.

My original plan was to wander the back roads and get in some bike riding while using campsites as a base but that was all changed now. The "perfect storm" of rising gas prices, tornados and a seriously over-extended budget was coming together.

I had to make a run for home.

...more follows...

Back to Bonnerdale.

2008-06-02T07:10:00.000-07:00

I spent 3 wonderfully lazy days in Faribault, Minnesota with my brother Clyde and his partner Deb.
Clyde took me around to see the sights and to see the plant where he does consulting work, then we spent the rest of the time eating Deb's wonderful meals (dynamite ribs!), telling family stories and watching TV.

We were invited to their neighbor's house one night and sat out in the backyard around a fire ring until a thunderstorm finally opened up on us.
(A tornado actually touched down north of us but we didn't know about it until our brother Ernie called from California to ask if we were OK.)

I can't get over the fact that Clyde is 70 years old. He looks 40, acts 30 and went back to work after retirement because he can't sit around.

It was great seeing them.

I got an email telling me the bike was ready so Tuesday I headed down I-35 to Arkansas. I don't care for Interstates but I figured I could cruise in the granny lane at 60 mph which gives me the best mpg.

Nothing much to see or report on along the Interstate, although I have to give highest marks to Kansas City for the easiest transit through town. Everyone seemed to drive at the 55 mph speed limit and the roads were clearly marked. It was smooth sailing as I sang Van Morrison's song, "Excuse me, Do You Know The Way To Kansas City?"

In contrast I give Fort Smith, Arkansas the lowest rating. Although I was wide awake and trying to stay on my route, I twice ended up in Oklahoma heading west! The signs were confusing and traffic was heavy.

I stayed in a motel in Missouri so I could see the finish of a 2 part sci-fi series, "The Andromeda Strain" which I had started while at Clyde's house. It's a great remake of the old movie.

When I got to Arkansas, I camped at a KOA (Fayetteville?) through a hot muggy night. That kind of weather wears me out so I spent the night in a stupor. About 0200, my aging kidneys woke me up and I had to trek over to the bathroom. When I got back to the van, I decided to sit out a while in a nice cool breeze and look at the stars. As I sat there I saw a bright light come on over the treetops. It stayed on for about 5-10 seconds then went out. Immediately after that, a second bright light came on to the left of the first. Then a few more followed the pattern, all in a small area of the sky over the treetops.
Along the Interstate, I had noticed a lot of tall towers on hills which were probably cellphone towers or the like. I figured there was a cluster of these towers and maybe they were testing the aircraft warning lights they have on top. But usually those lights rotate or blink. These went on steady and were twice as bright as I would have expected.
In the morning, I scanned the area with binocs and there wasn't a tower in sight.

(Cue theme music from "The Outer Limits" here.)

...more follows...

The Big Fish.

2008-05-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

I was headed for my brother’s house in Faribault, Minnesota so I took Highway 63 which goes through the western side of Wisconsin.
As is the norm in this part of the country, the scenery is gorgeous. I passed lots of creeks, rivers and stands of woods, interspersed with small towns along the 2 lane highway I followed. One thing glaringly stood out along these roads…there’s no trash anywhere.
Either people don’t toss garbage onto the roads or the clean-up crew had just preceded my drive-through.

I was getting hungry and decided I needed to sample a local pasty. Since my first wife was from Cornwall and Devon in England, I’m no stranger to a good pasty.
More than once, road construction and traffic forced me to pass up some promising looking shops, but I finally found a bakery that had the foresight to put directions to the store on a billboard outside of town. In my haste I once again forgot the camera, but I’m happy to report the Wisconsin pasty is the equal of any in the world.

Since I spent most of the day lolly-gagging, I had only covered a few miles. I like to get situated in camp before 5 p.m. so I don’t have to fool around in the dark.
Looking at the map, I found there was a KOA in Hayward, Wisconsin just a couple of miles ahead. I pulled in and found a huge campground that was practically empty. When I checked in they told me that the next day over 200 kids were scheduled to arrive. Talk about good timing!

I got out of there in the morning and headed for the National Freshwater Fishing Hall of Fame and Museum in “downtown” Hayward. On the museum grounds is the “Shrine to Anglers”, a leaping muskie over 4 stories tall with an observation platform in its open mouth.

I was the first one into the place that morning except for this guy up on a crane who was painting the fish. I went into the museum buildings first. The place was astounding.
They have collections of everything you can think of that is related to fishing. 2 wings were full of outboard motors dating back to the early 1900s and they even have a Russian made motor that was taken off a boat full of Cuban refugees.
There are also canoes, ice fishing equipment, very early snowmobiles, harpoons, rods and reels, hooks, clothes, 2 Bigfoot statues and a hall of photos of record-winning catches in every classification you can think of.

I’m not even a fisherman and I spent 2 hours looking at everything!

When I finally got outside, the painter was just bringing the crane down for a break, so I went over to talk to him. I asked him about the paint he was using and he told me he originally painted it 30 years ago and this was his first re-paint. After a bit of discussion, I found out he was the original artist who built the fish!
He showed me a square panel on one side and said that it had to be added after the steel work was done. The building code requirements for the steel frame didn’t quite fit the original fish.

By the time I got out of there it was noon so I set a course for my brother’s house in Minnesota. The last time I had seen him was at a family reunion at Big Sur many years ago so I was looking forward to catching up.

…more follows…

Yoopers, you betcha!

2008-05-27T16:16:00.000-07:00

When last heard from, the intrepid traveler had opted for the warmth of a motel room and the promise of a free Continental breakfast in the morning…

I wondered why the cost of a room was so high until I went to the Pizza Hut next door and figured out the place was full of government workers. A good portion of the UP is federal land, so the area is apparently crawling with researchers, biologists, bug catchers and bird and bean counters.
I’ve logged plenty of comfortable hours in hotels on the company tab, so I’m not knocking the system. If one keeps the worker bees well-fed, showered off and up to date on their TV shows, it helps to keep morale and productivity high.

As I laid there on the huge bed, I realized I could have tried out a KOA Kamping Kabin. All KOAs have these little cutesy cabins and surely they must be heated. AND cheaper than a chain that feeds at the government trough.
Oh well…

I pulled out of town in a cold, driving rain and immediately discovered a bunch of cheaper motels just 5 miles down the road.
Oh well…

The road took me through more of the Hiawatha Forest which looks pretty unusual to me.
The terrain is small rolling hills and very short trees. Although I’ve never been there, and have no idea what it’s like, it made me think of Iceland.
There are lots of Finns and other Scandinavians living there, so maybe it looks like their part of the world.
(Make of it what you will, but I base my opinion on Stumble’s faux-scientific principle that California is a lot like Spain and there are a lot of Spanish people there.)
After a couple of hours the sun came out and warmed things up.

I stopped in a café that looked like it belonged in Scandinavia and had the lunch special, chicken pot pie with a biscuit on top and coleslaw on the side. It was an unusual looking (and delicious) dish but unfortunately I didn’t have my camera with me…note to self: always carry the camera. Also, the waitress was a big, blue-eyed blonde and only needed a horned helmet to look like Brunhilda.

One side of my wife’s family is Finnish from Ontonagon so I headed there.
I pulled into the town, which is right on the shore of Lake Superior, in the late afternoon, found a city campground right on the shores of Gitchee Gummi, set up camp and basked in the sun.

At first I felt like I was right on the edge of the ocean but after a while I noticed a couple of differences. The waves are small and come in without a break. There isn’t that ocean rhythm. There were also no seagulls, or any other water birds for that matter. It was very beautiful but felt a little off balance to this ocean-side dweller.

The town reminded me of home in Oregon in that it’s pretty, on the water and geared up for tourists. Probably has a lot of retirees too.
Some locals told me not to miss the Lake of the Clouds which is in a state park in the Porcupine Mountains west of Ontonagon, so I headed there in the morning.
.
The lady at the gate turned out to be a big fan of Oregon, had been to the coast and even ridden on the mail boats which run up the xx River. (Everyone who has been to the Oregon coast raves about those boats. I’ll have to give it a try one of these days.)
She then told me that there were loads of wood ticks around and to cover up. Great.

The lake turned out to be a mile long and only 15 feet deep, according to the signs explaining the geology of the area. There were also miles of trails that went all over the park, along with backpacker camps and, of course, wood ticks.

On the drive out of there, I was squirming every time I had an itch.

…more follows…

With apologies to Henry "the Wad" Longfellow.

2008-05-22T18:44:00.000-07:00

By the shores of Gitche Gumee,
By the shining Big-Sea-Water,
Stood the wigwam of Sgt Stumble...

Ooop north...

2008-05-20T18:45:00.000-07:00

Had a delightfully lazy weekend with my peeps.

Saturday we took a drive up to lake country and Sunday we laid around and watched the Cubs game on TV.

I decided it was time to get moving so I flipped a coin to see which way to go. Heads, I go to Michigan and see the Great Lakes; tails, I go south to get my bike. It came up heads so on Monday we said our farewells and I headed north into Michigan.

The Indiana countryside was really beautiful along the back roads I followed. I saw lots of old leaning barns but didn't notice if they leaned left or right. I'll have to pay attention to that in the future to see if there's a correlation with local political leanings.

I was planning to go into Elkhart to see the RV Museum, but the closer I got, the more the roads deteriorated and traffic grew intense. Rural scenery gave way to depressing industrial sprawl with many empty buildings that looked burned out. I see now why that area is called the rust belt.

I also see what a blessed life I lived on the west coast during my working career. I know there are a myriad of reasons for our present economic situation but it's always the working stiff that gets it in the neck.

I count myself lucky that I actually retired and am getting a pension, small as it is.

I decided to get out of that mess and turned north into Michigan.

On my map, it looked like a road ran alongside Lake Michigan. I imagined a pleasant drive along the coast, similar to Highway 1 along the California coast, but that was not to be. I couldn't see the water at all, just a 4 lane highway. As I went north, the scenery returned to farmland and beautiful woods.

I pulled into a KOA campground in Muskegon and found the owner is an Oregonian from Hillsboro, which is near Portland. I got the special home-town-boy's deal and parked facing a small lake. What a great view to wake up to.

An interesting factoid I learned: after the great fire in Chicago in 1871, the entire area around Muskegon was clear-cut logged to rebuild the city. That must have been a real sight...both the burnt city and the land around it.

I have to recommend the Muskegon KOA as best of the trip so far. Excellent campground, super clean bathrooms and a 1.2 mile trail through the woods around the lake.

I headed north and finally got to see Lake Michigan. At a rest stop was an observation tower. Over the tops of the trees, I could see the blue water. At a few places, the road started getting closer to the lake and I got a better look.

I think someone needs to build more places for tourists to pull over and gawk. As it was, whenever I came to a view I was in the middle of a traffic jam. I guess I could have pulled off onto a side street and attempted to get across the highway, but after almost causing a major pileup behind me by stopping to let a pedestrian cross the street, I realized that is not done around here. It's every man/woman for himself.

I went through a few resort towns and it looked like they were pretty vibrant and full of stuff to do. The motels advertised room rates around $30-$35 a night and I was tempted, but resort towns aren't my cup of tea these days. 20 years ago it would have been a no-brainer.

I continued north with the Michigan Upper Peninsula as my goal.

A couple of things I noticed all the way up: road kill and vehicles for sale. As the Spaniards used to say when I was stationed over there in the 60s, the roads are paved with leather.

All along the way I saw cars, tractors, motorcycles, house trailers and motor homes parked on lawns with for sale signs. I also noticed the used car lots had new scooters out in front of the cars. I'm not sure if they give them away with a new car or what. Gas is up to $4.00 a gallon here.

Eventually, I got to the Mackinac Bridge which goes over the straits of the same name. I got to see Lake Michigan on my left and Lake Huron on my right. What a sight. It looked just like the ocean.

However the temperature dropped and it started raining as I pulled off onto a smaller highway which led through the Hiawatha National Forest. Now, this is my kind of tourism! Forests all around, no traffic and tiny villages along the way. Though since it's early in the season not much is open.

The rain turned to snow in some places and I began to rethink my camping strategy. When I got to Newberry, I went to the gas station, filled the van and damn near froze my fingers and ears off. The KOA was right across the street and next to it a motel with HBO, high-speed wireless and free breakfast.

I caved and pulled out my credit card.

...more follows...

The Man puts the red light on me. I see Mr. T's van.

2008-05-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I drove over to Auburn, Indiana to check out the WW2 Museum and take a look around at the town.

Small Mid-Western towns seem to be built in the same layout. There's a courthouse in the center and the old business district is built around it. Auburn is built in this style.

So I cruised down Main Street looking for the museum, which I understood to be across from the courthouse. It turned out to be a pretty busy town and the folks didn't seem inclined to let some out-of-town-Jasper dawdle along seeing the sights. They were down right pushy.
So I circled the courthouse, went back around to the front and parked, thinking I'd go into a cafe across the street and see what they had in the way of pie. That's when I noticed the police car with blinking lights blocking me in. Crap!

Some young guy came up and introduced himself in a manner reminiscent of a waiter. "Hi, I'm XXX with the Auburn Police Department." I half-expected him to say "I'll be your server today."

He asked if I had an appointment in the courthouse, probably thinking I had a van full of explosives and a score to settle with the local judge. I explained I was just a tourist looking for the museum and he told me it was back on the freeway, but just hang on and he'd give me directions. He took my "papers" and I waited while he ran my ID.
It took a while, probably because I'm from out of state, but he came back and gave me a warning ticket. He said an ambulance parked on the corner was blocking the stop sign and he understood. Then he gave me directions to the museum and sped off. Whew!
He was a very nice guy and wasn't at all threatening or intimidating but I noticed he managed to question me about my business without seeming to be doing so. Must be Homeland Security training.

I figured I better get while the getting was good, so I skipped the pie expedition and headed to the museum.

It turned out the museum was actually a group of museums all in the same huge building. Entrance fee was $10 but only $4 for veterans!
Guess all that time in the military finally paid off.

The WW2 section had a BUNCH of captured German vehicles, weapons uniforms, etc. I think there was more German stuff than American.
I saw a BMW motorcycle with a sidecar that looked just like my new Ural.

They also had Canadian, Russian, English and Italian stuff too, even a couple of planes.
There were mannikins dressed in uniform set in various tableaus, like riding in the vehicles, standing in groups, looking at maps, being taken prisoner and one scene of Russians meeting Americans.
It was really cool for a military buff (like me) and I highly recommend it to all.

I spent hours there and was getting tired but made a run through the Indiana baseball, Television history and car museums.
Most of the cars were Indy racing cars but one section had Hollywood cars. I saw Batman's car (it's really huge), Robin's Bat-Cycle (an old Suzuki 2 stroke), The Fonz's Triumph motorbike and last but not least... Mr. T's van!! I was totally surprised as I thought I read that it was rusting away in some Hollywood backlot.
It was pretty, shiny, impressive and looked totally cool. I may have to get a part-time job so I can build one just like it and get some gold chains.

All in all an exciting day.

I understand the RV museum is up the road in Elkhart which is on my route to the Great Lakes. This is car-lovers heaven up here.

...more follows...

The big hole in Hoosier Land

2008-05-15T12:50:00.001-07:00

Rick took the day off and showed me around Fort Wayne. We drove by the house where his parents lived, where I stayed a few days in 1969 on my way to my new duty station in Utah.
We checked out The Coney Island Hot Dog cafe in downtown Fort Wayne which has been there since Rick was a kid. It's a funky place but really busy. I had a dog, a coke in a small bottle and a piece of banana cream pie.

It was raining like mad all day but we went by this huge limestone quarry in town and checked it out from an observation tower. Man, it's one big hole, I would guess a mile across. Those little dots in the distance are huge rock-carrying trucks.

Hilary wanted to take me to an outdoor shopping mall that's styled in an Italian manner, but really, an old hot dog place and a big hole in the ground are my kind of tourist attractions.

Rick went to work today so we met him for lunch at a Chinese restaurant. Was I surprised to find the food as good as any in San Francisco!

Tomorrow I plan a trip to the War Museum in Auburn, the next town over.

...more follows...

Into the Land of Hoosiers.

2008-05-15T12:45:00.000-07:00

I got to add another cool vehicle to the list of cool vehicles I have piloted.
Ron showed me how to drive a New Detroit diesel tractor.
We went out to his back pasture and I got to “brush hog.” Kinda like mowing the lawn, only in an industrial manner. There were a lot of levers and pedals but I managed to knock down a few weeds.

I did some exploring while Ron and Kate were at work. Drove some back country roads in the morning, then when I got back, Ron had hooked up the horse and carriage so we went out for a ride in his ‘hood. That was pretty cool.
We spent Saturday video-taping a couple of his horses going through their paces, then Sunday editing the videos and napping.

Like fish, visitors begin to stink in a few days, so I decided it was time to head out.
We said our goodbyes Monday morning and I was back on the road.

I took Highway 21 north to Kentucky, heading for Colonel Sander’s first restaurant, but got sidetracked by another road that was labeled “The Tennessee Parkway”, a scenic route. It was definitely scenic and wound through a bunch of small towns.

I reached Pall Mall, Tennessee and stopped to see Sgt. Alvin York’s grave. It was very moving for me, being a military buff. For those who don’t know, he was a great American Army hero in WW1. He’s buried in a simple little church graveyard with gravel roads and a spectacular view of the surrounding mountains.

Just a spit and a holler from the Kentucky border I came across a country general store that advertised home made fudge so I had to stop. No pie, but excellent fudge.
I also had a sausage biscuit that was out of this world.

I crossed into Kentucky and drove a lot of back roads and before I knew it, I was in Louisville. I managed the maze of freeways and made it into Indiana.
It was still early so I kept driving until I saw a campground sign. I followed it and ended up somewhere near Bloomington. (I believe the movie, “Breaking Away” was filmed there. It was a movie about a bicycle racer, filmed in 1979, which I really identified with, since I was totally into bicycle riding at the time.)
The campground was empty so I had my pick of sites. I parked next to a lake full of Canadian Geese and had a very pleasant night.

I made it to Fort Wayne in good time, but spent about an hour touring the freeways trying to find the proper exit. Naturally my exit was right in the middle of a construction zone and not marked. The same thing happened when I was trying to find the exit to Jake’s Evil Lair. Must be the Kosmic Joke Center at work again.

So here I am with Rick and Hilary (my brother and sister-in-law) who I haven’t seen in 20 years.
Rick and I were stationed in Seville, Spain in 1966 to 1969. We arrived as bachelors and ended up married to two sisters from Devon. Naturally I went for the redhead, which always ends in trouble for me.

…more follows…

Toonder and Lightning.

2008-05-09T06:11:00.000-07:00

You old folks remember the boxer Ingmar Johannsson? He was a Swede who held the heavyweight champion title in the late 50s. They called his punches toonder and lightning. I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday but I remember that...

Anyhow, we had lots of toonder and rain yesterday so I took care of some mundane tasks, one of which was getting the van's air vents fixed. Air would only come out of the vents by the windshield. No problem down at the beach, but I needed some air in the cab if I was to survive the 80 degree temps around here.

I pulled into a recommended garage to ask about an appointment and two guys came out and fixed it right where I had parked. A half hour and 40 bucks later I was cruising with fresh air in my face. Outstanding! It would be nice to have an air conditioner, but that would cost more than I paid for the van.

The days before the rain started, Ron and I rode some of his old restored bikes.

We took some dirt bikes out to his back pasture and scooted around and up and down hills like a couple of kids. We came back in with a couple of ticks though. Boy, does that make you feel itchy or what?
I got to ride a Hodaka Wombat. 125cc I think? What a kick!

We also went out on the road and I rode a 1967 Honda 305 Superhawk. It has an antique plate on it so my (new) gray beard, half helmet and waxed cotton jacket fit the image perfectly.
Back in 1965, when I was stationed in Thailand, I had a Super Hawk. It seemed like such a big bike back then. Of course I was a couple of pounds lighter back then.

The little Superhawk ran like a champ as we went along some twisty back roads. The back roads here are excellent, by the way. Smooth, no bumps and no potholes.
We came to a roadsign that warned of a section of particularly twisty road ahead and Ron took off on his 650 Kawasaki KLR.
I hunched down to get it on, looked to my right and spotted a huge billboard in front of a church. "Prepare to meet your maker." it read. No kidding! That really took the wind out of my sails and I putted slowly through that section.

Its rainy again today and Ron & Kate are at work so I think I'll go exploring in the van. See if I can find some pie.

...more follows..

Kickin' around Harriman, Tennessee

2008-05-07T07:06:00.000-07:00

Blackberry shortcake at the Utopia Cafe in Harriman, Tennessee. Not pie, but the best dessert I've had in 8 states!

Y'all ain't from around here...

2008-05-05T13:59:00.000-07:00

Today Ron got out his Ural Patrol motorcycle (which is the same as my new one except for paint and accessories) and we went for a ride on the country roads around here. He had never ridden in the sidecar so he asked me to drive. He's a brave man, let me tell you.
I was happy to get some wheel-time on the new model. It's a bit different from my old 650cc but I started relaxing and getting the hang of it.

I have to say this part of Tennesee, at this time of year, is the most beautiful place I've ever seen. The roads were practically deserted and wound through farms, woods and over streams.
At one point we surprised 2 deer then a 3rd one jumped out and ran across in front of us. We also came up on a wild turkey.

We ended up in the Catoosa Wildlife Management Area and drove along unpaved roads. There were lots of bumps, ups and downs and potholes but the Ural soaked it all up with ease. They're made for use in Siberia so American dirt roads are easy.

We spotted a rutted hill and Ron wanted to try out the 2 wheel drive so I climbed up the hill and took some pictures of him coming up the trail. The Ural made it easily.

A couple of old guys came by in a pickup (the only car we saw back in there) and stopped to chat. Soon as I started talking he said, "Y'all ain't from around here, are you." Guess I'll have to work on my accent.

We got back to the paved road and stopped in a little town for a snack and drink and saw a couple of prisoners at the courthouse, washing the sheriff's car. How could I tell? Well, they had on black and white striped pants and shirts that had PRISONER printed on them. Pretty hilarious.

I was getting tired so Ron took over the driving and I rode in the sidecar for the last 10 miles to home. He's a lot smoother driver than I am. I started leaning in the turns and he was able to pick up the pace a little and we had some fun.

For those who have never ridden in an outfit, when you make a right turn the sidecar wheel wants to lift off the ground. That's called "flying the chair."
The passenger (or "monkey" if on a racing outfit) can help keep the wheel down by leaning way out to the right.
On left turns the rear wheel of the bike wants to come off the ground so everybody leans left. In racing, the monkey actually lays on the seat behind the driver to keep the wheel on the ground.

The Ural is far from a racing bike but the same principles apply. It's just harder to throw your weight around because the passenger is enclosed in a steel tub. You can go a lot faster when the wheels stay on the ground and it's quite a thrill when you get going fast.

It's also a lot of hard work throwing a 900 pound bike around. We both came home tired.

Anyhow, it was a beautiful day and the scenery was a knockout. If there was an ocean here, I'd live here in a hot minute!

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And the winner is...

2008-05-04T10:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to a horse event (my first), A Carriage Ride in the Country.
My friends, Ron & Kate own a smal herd of Gypsy Vanner horses along with a pack of dogs and a trio of mules. We left early in the morning for a ranch near Nashville towing a trailer containing Bowtie the horse and a fancy 4-wheeled carriage.

Bowtie is a Gypsy Vanner who came from England where he was used to haul freight, then pulled caravans across England, then ended up in the USA where he now lives a life of ease.

Anyhow, after getting all dressed up in a traditional country costume with hat, necktie and jacket, Ron hooked him up to the carriage and went through a "presentation" that was judged by an English lady who's dad was Colonel such-and-so of the Royal Horses or something. All very posh, but Greek to me. She was also in a movie starring Don Knotts. She was personally a nice lady and not at all snobby about it, but how snobby could one be after being in a movie with Don Knotts?

Then, much like a car rally, they went through a marked course at various speeds. Ater that they went through a hazard couse with various things to try to distract the horses.

Then came the endurance cross-country ride. Ron's wife graciously gave me her place on the carriage, so off we went.

Man, it was beautiful! Once we left the arena area we followed a marked course across hill and dale, through the "Fairy Woods", across a creek and past a couple of other ranches (I think that's what they call them around here??) The sun came out and we had blue skies with huge white clouds. The grass and trees were (dare I say it?) GREENER than Oregon. It was the coolest ride I've ever been on.

They had gift baskets in the Fairy Woods with each competitor's number. Funnily enough, since Ron & I are motor-guys, ours was sitting on an old junk Lincoln.

I have to say I have a new appreciation for how rough it must have been on our forefathers, riding in a jolting wagon across country.

When we got back to the arena area, there was wine and cheese while we watched the Kentucky Derby on TV. A horse fell after the finish and broke both ankles and had to euthanized on the spot, which brought down the mood of everyone present, considering they all love horses so much.

Following that, we had a wonderful home-cooked meal with fresh vegetables that were grown in the ground right next to the dining tables. This was followed by desserts and one of the choices was homemade rum-soaked chocolate pecan pie! What a meal!

After all that came the awards. Lo and behold, Ron won 1st place in the endurance race. So even though I was just deadweight, I was on the winning team! Pretty cool.
Then he won another couple of ribbons and took the grand over-all prize! Ron and Kate were about as happy as they could be.

All in all, it was a fine day.

(I'd sure like to ride that course on my Ural!)

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Long distance operator, give me Memphis Tennessee

2008-05-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

Fleeing the bugs, I arrived in Memphis, Tennessee pretty early. There was a lot of traffic but no big jam-up like I expect around big cities.
I pulled into the visitor’s center to glom a free map and was greeted by a huge statue of BB King holding Lucille. In the next room was a statue of Elvis.
All around the huge room were displays with pictures of famous musicians, taken back in the day. It was fabulous.
I thought about cruising around the city but figured I’d only get lost and pull some dumb tourist move and get mugged or go down a one-way street the wrong way, so I got back on the Interstate and droned on.

Checking the map, I saw a KOA and pulled in even though it was only around noon. I was beat, needed a shower and had a pile of laundry to do.

Turns out this place is next to the freeway so all I hear are caravans of semi trucks. But it has excellent wireless access and I found a great BBQ shack down the road.
Pulled pork, bread, side of macaroni salad, side of baked beans, sweet tea and a brownie for less than 10 bucks! I couldn’t even finish it all.

Loretta Lynn must be from around here too. Her family has a flea market up one of the back roads.

So tomorrow I’ll be in Harriman, Tennessee. My friends have show horses so we’re going to a horse show on Saturday. Then Ron and I will do some bike riding as he has some days off. I hope he still has the W650.

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Attack of the bug things!

2008-05-02T07:17:00.000-07:00

After a great southern fried steak dinner with Flicka and Mike, I took off for Hot Springs, Arkansas. It turns out Bill Clinton grew up there. It looks like a pretty well-to-do town so maybe some of the gumment grease rubbed off onto the locale.
To be fair, it was always a tourist spot and attracted the moneyed set so maybe the place made it on its own. Seeing as how motels were sky-high I headed for the KOA campground (official camping hosts to the insearchofpie team.)

There were lots of expensive motor homes with expensive tow cars around the park, but at the tent area there was only one young couple.
They were from Minnesota and had that accent like you hear in the movie “Fargo.”
Lots of “you betcha” and “Oh yah.” They were a very sweet couple and pulled me over to their campfire and forced me to roast marshmallows while we told camping stories.
I told them about the meteor (or whatever) that I saw in Texas and the fellow said he saw that same object up in Minnesota when they were driving down to Arkansas. Amazing.

The next day I got on the interstate heading east. I saw a sign for a state park called Village Creek, so decided to try it out. The ranger even gave me the senior discount after she saw my license. She said she didn’t think I was that old. Bless her heart!
It’s a beautiful park. I think she said it was 7,000 acres, or was it 17,000? Whatever, it’s huge.

There was a big 3 day long musical to-do happening on May 1st (the next day) with a lot of pickin’ and grinning’. What luck!

But luck turned to literal horse poop when I was sent to the equestrian camp ground.
I guess the rest of the park was full of pickers and grinners.
The minute I stepped out of the van I was swarmed by bugs! Little flying suckers that went into my ears, mouth, eyes and nose. GAH!!!!
It was hot and muggy but I locked myself into the van, only venturing out for the bathroom which was a 100 yard gauntlet. They were especially attracted to my bald head where they would land then do some bug version of the Macarena. I eventually tied a bandanna around my head for my few dashes to the head, which made me look a bit like a pot-bellied Rambo wannabe with Tourettes Syndrome and drew stares from the other campers.

Then to top it off, in the middle of the night something kept whanging into my CB antenna. I wasn’t under any trees so it couldn’t have been branches.
At first I thought someone after a night of sippin’, pickin’ and grinnin’ was foolin’ with me, but my van stands about 6 feet tall and the antenna goes up another 3 feet. I have to open the slider door and stand on the step to reach it, so it couldn’t have been a person doing it.
I figured bats would be able to avoid it with their radar so maybe there were birds flying around after the bugs. I never heard any bird getting his breath knocked out or saying ouch or swearing though and once it whanged 3 times in a row.
Every time it got hit, the whole van would reverberate like a big gong. I now know how the WW2 submariners felt hearing the depth charges hit the outside of the boat.

When morning came I lit out of there in a big hurry. I even drove to the bathroom so I could make a quick getaway. Not even a shower, just get the hell out!

We don’t get a lot of bugs on the Oregon coast. I guess the cold and wind forces them to move to Arkansas.

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A change in plans.

2008-05-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

I spent Tuesday with Mike, watching as he handmade brackets and mounted various accessories to my new bike.
It now sports a 10 liter NATO fuel can on the sidecar and a large ammo can on the rear of the bike as a sort of saddlebag. Now I wish I had left off the fuel can and gone with 2 ammo cans on the bike. It looks VERY military! I may decide to change it anyway.

After taking a good look at the bike, I’ve decided that disc brake on the front has to go. It ruins the look for me and makes the spare wheel useless if I get a flat on the front.
Anyhow, top speed is only around 60 mph so who needs a disc brake for that?
Mike said he could order some parts and convert the front to a drum brake set-up.
With the trade in parts it comes in at a very good price. So I’m going ahead with that.
The other part that hasn’t arrived is the machine gun mount. I have a kit that turns a .22 rifle into a replica MG-42 that will ride up on the mount (at select times off the public roadways, of course. Gunners, line forms to the right please.)

One thing I hate to do is rush a mechanic so I decided to give him plenty of time and room to get things squared away. I simply changed my plan.
Instead of hanging around for 2 weeks, I’m leaving the bike and parts there and going ahead to Harriman, Tennessee to see my old buddy Ron, then up to Fort Wayne, Indiana to see Rick, my old service buddy and bro-in-law.
Flicka and Mike said to leave the trailer there and call when I’m headed back to pick up the bike.

It’s kind of weird driving the van without the trailer.

I can't believe I didn't take any pictures of the bike!

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The new Ural!

2008-05-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

I left Texarkana, Texas this morning but forgot to go take my picture straddling 2 states. Oh well…

I was really feeling tired for some reason and stayed in the bunk until 0900. Then it took me a couple of hours to eat, shower and get on the road. I was really moving slow.
I took the Interstate to Arkadelphia, Arkansas then a couple of back roads to a town with the California-sounding name of Glendale.

Arkansas is really very pretty. Matter of fact, it’s a total knockout. There are lots of trees and green grass, neat small towns and friendly people. Everyone waves as they pass in their cars and everyone greets you on the street.
I’ve also noticed everyone calls each other sir or ma’am. Last night some kids came into the Laundromat where I was working on my computer and started making a lot of noise. The teen-aged girl in charge rounded them up and took them outside making it a point to say, “Sir, I’m sorry about the noise.”

Once I was watching a TV show showing some jailbirds getting interviewed for parole and they were very brusque in the way they talked to the parole board members. To me, when I talk to the locals I sound like those jailbirds.

As I drove along Highway 8, I came across a bunch of logging operations and logging trucks. It reminded me a lot of Oregon, but the trees are kind of puny here in comparison.

I stopped in Amity and had a burger and piece of homemade coconut pie at Trudy’s Café.Excellent pie.
I’ve discovered sweet ice tea down here in the South. When you order ice tea they ask if you want regular or sweet. Naturally, I go for the sweet. Also, it always comes in a huge glass which they keep refilling, so it keeps the kidneys cleaned out for sure.

When I got to Glendale, I followed Flicka’s suggestion and checked in at the Lux Corner Motel (The Ritz it ain’t) then headed down the road to Bonnerdale to see my new bike.
Bonnerdale is just a gas station and a post office, but I spotted my Ural parked out in front of their place. Actually, I almost missed it since it was camouflaged. That’s good!

I met Mike and Flicka and got a look at their operation. As far as I’m concerned, they have the best reputation in the USA in the Ural world. Notice I drove all the way from Oregon to buy from them.
I then spent the rest of the day with Mike learning how to check fluids, adjust valves, synch carbs, etc. Then we got into war stories and talked about relationships with women as he mounted a cool gas can on the sidecar. He’s a Vietnam vet, an old-time mechanic and a funny guy with some great stories.

After some discussion, I decided I’d like to make some changes to the bike. The biggest thing I want to do is remove the front disk brake (a Brembo which belongs on a Ducati racer) and replace it with a drum. That way all my wheels will be interchangeable and I can use the spare on all wheels. Most importantly, the bike will look like a proper retro military model.
The bike also comes with a fluid can which is usually mounted on the front of the sidecar, but I’ll leave it off since it adds weight in the wrong place. I may also go with an ammo can pannier on the back of the bike.
I might as well get it just the way I want since I came all this way.

I’m going back in the morning to do a little touch up spray painting with Mike and discuss the changes.

Man it is one cool bike!!!

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Seeing the sights in East Texas.

2008-04-27T17:48:00.003-07:00

I drove through eastern Texas today. It’s really beautiful here with lots of trees, green grass and rolling hills. I was only on the Interstate for a few minutes when I noticed the frontage road was running parallel to me. So I got off and took the frontage road, which wound through the back country and a lot of little towns. Naturally, I took a turn and ended up off my map, but I just kept heading in the general direction and it worked out fine.

I’m now at the KOA in Texarkana, Texas. Great internet access but I have to sit in the laundry room to get my computer to connect. It’s warm though.
I finally signed up for a KOA card since it gives 10% off the price. It should pay for itself soon, as KOA is now the official camping area for the In Search Of Pie Team, namely, me. I’m addicted to the hot showers.

The guy at the desk told me the main drag is actually the border between Texas and Arkansas. There’s a government building down there that sits astride the line with a place where you can take a picture of yourself in 2 different states. Naturally, I’ll have to do that!

Flicka called to give me directions to their shop and also gave me a lot of info about where to stay, where to eat, what to see, etc.
I guess I’m only 2 hours from my destination and my new Ural!

Oh yeah, last night I was in the KOA near Caddo Mills, Texas and want to report on 2 things.
For the guys, the nearby village of Caddo Mills has a little market and the manager is the prettiest, most voluptuous blue-eyed Texan woman I’ve seen. Any single guys who live in the area need to go check that out.

The other thing…just after it got dark, the sky clouded up way up high so you couldn’t see the stars. I was looking up and a bright ball of light flew across the sky above the clouds and I could see it plain as day. It must have been really bright.
I guess it was a shooting star, but I’ve never seen one that huge! But as they say, everything’s bigger in Texas.

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A visit to Jake's Evil Lair.

2008-04-27T16:49:00.000-07:00

I’ve been telling everybody I meet along the way that I’m going to Lewisville to ride in the original Mad Max car. It’s located near Dallas at a secret and infamous location, “Jakes Evil Lair.”

I called ahead and Jake said he’d meet me at the freeway off-ramp to guide me in. Naturally, the exit wasn’t marked due to heavy construction but Jake spotted me and I spotted him. He was on the famous ex-Fitch BMW. We went to the next exit and since he had no minions available to blindfold me and drive my car, he took me on a circuitous route to the lair where I had to sign non-disclosure papers.

After a look at all of the toys he took me to a Mexican restaurant where I had the biggest and best carne asada ever! Sorry La Fiesta, this place knocked your carne asada down to 2nd best. One thing I love about Texas is the Tex-Mex food.

We spent the rest of the evening playing with various guy toys and I was able to get on-line and clear out my 200 messages about Saving the Children, increasing the size of my organ (I don’t get it, I don’t even have on organ, I’m a bass player) and collecting the 200 million pounds locked in a Nigerian account.
I tell you; those African countries could solve all their problems if they could just get that money out before I get it. It’s taking a while to get to me though. It must be the slow postal systems.

Anyhow, the next morning after a hearty breakfast at Mickey Dees, Jake took me for a ride in the Bluesmobile, complete down to the trash and smashed pop-top Bud can on the dash. With the Blues Brothers blaring “I Can’t Turn You Loose” on the tape deck we made the rounds of his hood. What a car!

After that, he got out “The Last V-8.” This is the actual car from the Mad Max and Road Warrior movies with the steering wheel on the wrong side (for us Yanks.) It’s presently set-up in the “Road Warrior” style with the huge gas tanks in the back. The sound of the motor and the pipes is awesome! We cruised around a while and never once did Jake break the speed limit. (It also started raining pigs.)

Time ran out but I got a good look at the replica Goose Kawasaki (from the Mad Max movie.) What a beautiful bike. There was also a big Kawasaki police bike hidden in the lair. I wouldn’t know which one to choose, if I had to choose.

Jake had to go to his flying lesson so I got back on the road heading east to Arkansas and my waiting Ural Gear-Up.

All the way down the road I kept singing “I Can’t Turn You Loose.”

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Goodbye to an old friend.

2008-04-27T16:44:00.000-07:00

The handoff of the Ural to Richard, the new owner, was successful.
Richard and Linda are a very nice couple that have Harleys and ride them all over the place. Linda’s bike has blue flames!
I brought the Ural over to their house on Wednesday night just after they arrived home from a Baja fishing trip. A storm was threatening and I wanted to get the bike inside as it has never spent any time out in the rain. They popped a bottle of good white wine and we polished it off while swapping life stories.
The next morning, after breakfast, I showed Richard the ins and outs of the Ural and he took it around the block, tried out the reverse, etc.
It’s a bit intimidating driving a hack for the first time but once you get the hang of it, it’s a lot of fun.
I bade farewell to the old girl but I know she’s in a good home. Plus she’ll have a cool dog, Ivan, to ride in her.

I headed south, sort of aiming for a campground outside of Tulsa but I kept getting lost in Kansas. Well, not really lost but turned around.
My map isn’t detailed enough to show all the roads and I was wandering around a bunch of back roads. I wasn’t sure exactly where I was but I knew I was heading in the right direction. Then the sky got real dark and I couldn’t see the sun.
Living on the coast I always have good landmarks like the ocean and mountains to orient myself. But in a flat prairie with no sun to guide me, I was thinking it was a good thing I had extra food and water in the van.

One thing I’ve found about the back roads is there are no shoulders or rest stops where one can pull over. A few times I wanted to stop to examine the map but had a big semi pushing me so I was forced to drive until I hit the next town.
One trick I learned is to stop before intersections, if there’s a spot to do so, and use my binoculars to read the signs. That works well so I don’t get run over deciding which way I have to turn.
I guess I could get a better map, but this has become a game with me. I’d hate to have anyone think I would ask for directions. That would be unmanly.

So anyway, I ended up in Chelsea, Oklahoma for the night. I believe Keith and Okie Bill from the W650 group live around here.
The motel owner hails from Maryland originally and rides an old shovelhead. I was wearing a motorcycle T-shirt and we started talking about the good old days, when bikes sucked valves and electrical systems fried exactly at the moment when most needed.
I told him I was heading to pick up a Ural and he had never heard of them. After telling him about it, he was pretty intrigued and said he will go read about them on the web.

This area is getting a LOT of rain. So far it seems I’ve been traveling in the eye of the storm, just getting sprinkles. The wind was blowing real hard all the way down and my gas mileage dropped down to 15 mpg. Gas around here is $3.35 to $3.50. These days, that’s the low end of the scale.

I’ve been seeing some pretty depressed areas in my travels, mostly out in the rural areas.
There’s also an incredible amount of damage to trees from ice storms.
I went through one town (Coffeyville, Kansas) that looked like it might have been hit by a tornado a while back. Houses missing and businesses all closed up
Amazing, I’ve never seen anything like that.

I watched the news for the first time in a week and hear there are food riots in other countries and rationing of rice at some stores here in the states. Sounds scary.

I watched about a minute of “the candidates” doing their thing. Pah!
I just wish the politicians would dump their entourages, get in an old van and drive around the country incognito to see first-hand what they’re doing to our country.
I doubt there’s anyone in congress going hungry or worrying about filling up their limo.

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Charles Bronsen film festival.

2008-04-25T20:24:00.000-07:00

How lucky can I get?
While hanging out at the motel, waiting to finish the bike deal, the TV station AMC started showing a string of Charles Bronsen movies. There was that really good one set in Canada (with Lee Marvin as the Mountie, can’t remember the name), then all the “Death Wish” movies in a row.
When I got to another motel outside of Tulsa, Oklahoma, I got to see another one.
I have to say the original one was a good movie but they definitely went downhill from there.

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On vacation from my vacation.

2008-04-22T15:15:00.001-07:00

I’m having a vacation from my vacation. How cool is that?

Mssr. Richard H., the new Ural owner, is out of town until tomorrow night so I’m shacked up in a cozy motel just a few blocks from his house, waiting for his return.
The TV has a bazillion channels so there’ll be some heavy remote action tonight.

The internet access is wireless. I hate wireless! The signal keeps dropping off and I lose the connection. It’s probably something to do with my laptop because folks with better laptops don’t seem to have any problems like that. At least when it does work, it works pretty well.

This morning I got the bike off the trailer and took it for a spin around Clay Center, Kansas. It’s sunny and warm so all I needed was a T-shirt and helmet.
(Oh yeah, just to stave off the comments…pants, boots, socks and underwear too. This IS Kansas after all, not San Francisco.)

The locals tell me this is the first nice weather they’ve had. They’ve had a long, cold winter. One guy I talked to asked me if I was cold in just a T-shirt, as he felt it was still a bit cool. I told him if the temperature ever got up this high in Bandon, people would start dropping from heat stroke and the real estate agents would be jostling each other taking pictures of their properties for their internet ads.
He didn’t seem to get it. Folks around here seem pretty straight-forward. Nice, but no foolin’ around.

I discovered this store today while I was out scouting for some supplies. It’s called Dollar General. I’ve been seeing them all over the place since I got to Kansas. In one town a local even gave me directions using it, “Go down there, turn right at the dollar general….”

Lord have mercy! Everything is a dollar, or multiple or fraction thereof, and the place is packed with stuff. Nothing really expensive or unnecessary, but if you need some plastic bowls, high-lighting pens or 25 envelopes for 50 cents, it’s the place to go.

Took me an hour to get out of there and only cost me $5.00.
I got a big magnifying glass with a light, perfect for looking at a map in a hurry. Before, I had to put on my cheaters and try to look over the tops to see the road while trying to look at the map…especially important when trying to judge if a 63 year old prostrate can make it to the next rest stop or if one should just head for the bushes! This gizmo should help.

I asked the lady about the store and she said it was a national chain, it was moving west and is in Colorado now.
I can’t wait for it to get to Oregon. It’ll give us retirees a place to do some recreational shopping on our fixed incomes.

Cruised around some more and discovered the locals don’t give tourists much of a break in traffic. You better know which way you’re going or just go with the flow. I took a wrong turn and ended up on the highway heading out of town. I had to go 5 miles to find a place to turn around, all the while with a huge semi on my butt.
I’m always nice to tourists back home and give them plenty of breaks. Oh well…

I also discovered the restaurant attached to the motel is a Mexican place. I went in and tried it out. Pretty good, but they don’t beat La Fiesta back in Bandon.

Tomorrow I’ll shine up the bike, gas up the car, do some laundry, etc. After I deliver the bike, I’m back on the road.

Speaking of being on the road, I’ve found that KOA is a pretty good deal these days. Back in the day I scoffed at their campgrounds and their excessive price. State campgrounds used to be a couple of bucks and KOA was $20.
Nowadays, they still cost $20 (or less) but we all know $20 ain’t what it used to be. Anyhow, they have hot showers, laundromats, tent areas and hook-ups if you need ‘em.

BTW, I fooled around with the blog settings and now anyone can leave comments. I just looked back and saw a bunch. Pretty cool, this blog stuff.

Nap time!

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Brunhilda has landed.

2008-04-21T22:13:00.000-07:00

I made it. I'm in Clay Center, Kansas. New home of the Ural sidecar.
I'm so buzzed from driving all day I need to come down a bit.

Here's a few odds-n-ends about Kansas...as they drift through my frazzled consciousness, or however you spell that word.

My left arm is sunburned to beat hell. It hurts. I'll slather it with lotion before I go to bed.

I got so used to driving in a straight line that I would slow way down whenever I came to a curve in the road. It felt scary like I was gonna tip over or something.

Brunhilda is averaging 19-20 mpg!!! It doesn't seem to matter how hard I push her. Amazing.
Brother Tom was right. He told me towing the bike wouldn't affect my mileage at all. (How does he know that stuff?)

Kansas has a lot of religious people. There are billboards with religious stuff all over the place.
I especially liked the billboard reading "Jesus Saves Sinners" set up right next to a huge adult store along the Interstate.

A bunch of the small towns had big signs as you enter the town, listing the local high school's accomplishments. And not just the sports, they had everything listed down to local spelling bees.

Anyhow, I'm done for. Did I say I'm in a motel? It has wirelees internet but it keeps fading out.
Think I'll go ahead and crash before it does again.

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4 states in a day.

2008-04-21T03:42:00.000-07:00

I left Interstate 40 at Tucumcari and am now on Highway 54, staying the night in a motel in Dalhart, Texas.

It's hot here. Well, it was only 80 degrees but that's hot for somebody who lives on the coast where a really hot day is 70.

It looks like if I take Highway 385 north I'll go through that small strip of Oklahoma into Colorado, then east into Kansas. I can be in 4 states in one day.

The motel is pretty nice and has the usual TV. I tried watching it for a while but those commercials drive me nuts! I'm glad we don't have a TV hookup at home.

Almost time for the free breakfast. Cereal and coffee. Oh boy.

In Indian country.

2008-04-21T03:00:00.000-07:00

As I progressed along the highway, I began seeing billboards for "Indian trading posts." Mocassins, blankets and ice cream seem to be the main selling points.

Reminiscent of the gas wars of my youth, the trading posts have blanket wars. They keep getting cheaper and cheaper as one goes east. I guess they hope to catch the hold-outs who didn't want a blanket at the first place but faced with the constant price-chopping, couldn't resist the bargain. They almost got me, but I really have no need for another blanket in the van.

Now that I think of it, I could use some mocassins for lazing around the camp site. Instead I brought my fur-lined Uggs. Perfect for 80 degree days in the desert. They go well with the 3 wool sweaters I have packed in my duffel. It just better get cold up north!

I stopped at one place for some groceries and was warmly greeted by the 2 ladies reading the paper behind the counter. Business was very slow as I picked out some canned peaches and Beanie-Weenies for my next campfire feast.

I also looked over the artifact section. There were some pretty nice locally made things and the usual wolf-howling-at-the-moon T-shirts. The howling wolf in the desert is the equivalent of the dolphin art that you see out on the coast. Hey, it sells!

As I paid for my things the lady asked me, "What tribe are you in?"
She said I looked very Indian. I was wearing a cap or she would have known I wasn't. Every Indian I saw, young or old, had a full head of hair.

Later, I had the urge for a real breakfast so I stopped in at a Dennys. It looked like all the staff and customers were Indian.
One thing I noticed was the respectful treatment of the elders (like myself) by the youngsters. Very interesting.

Oh yeah, I bought a flute when I got the groceries. The only trouble is when I try playing it, I start laughing. It must be a magic flute meant to keep me happy.

I also saw a guy at a truck stop wearing a beaded belt. Now I wish I would have picked one up. Very cool belt.

Seeing the sights on Route 66.

2008-04-21T01:57:00.000-07:00

As you may already know, the original Highway 66 has been replaced by Interstate 40. There are still a few parts of the original road left for nostalgia freaks to drive on though.
The first sign I spotted said something like "Original Route 66" and pointed to an offramp, so with hopes of spotting Martin Milner in the 'Vette, I took the exit.

Whoa! They should have added a postscript to the sign, "Secure all false teeth and babies. Not responsible for loss of vision or bowel control."
Apparently these sections of the "Mother Road" have been left to fend for themselves ever since the Interstate went in. They are little more than black chunks of asphalt, much like those pictures you see of the Martian landscape.

I managed to get about 1/4 mile down the road before I had to turn back. I recommend a purpose built off-road bike and a good leather kidney belt for anyone wishing to try riding any of those sections.

The towns along the Interstate were originally on the Mother Road and they are cashing in on the fame, such as it is. I took each exit and checked them out.

Most of the loops through the towns are filled with new retro-cafes aimed at the hot-rodding crowd. You know, those aluminum and glass buildings that look faintly like an old drive-in. Most are probably designed by someone who has never seen a real drive-in.
There are so many of them, my guess is if you ate a burger in each one of those joints, you would consume a whole cow every 2 towns.

In some spots I saw the old icons. I saw the Wigwam Motel, which was pretty cool. They had old 50s cars parked in front of each unit. I couldn't tell if it was really open for business, as it looked pretty run-down and dusty.

I found out that towing a trailer puts me in the class of big RVs in that there was usually no easy place to park so I could get out and look. I had to be satisfied with a drive-by view.
There are so many RVs you would think they would make some provision for parking them and letting the tourist dollars flow.

I did manage to get into an A&W in Seligman, Arizona though. Had a burger, fries and a root beer, naturally. The root beer was excellent!

I also went through Winslow, Arizona to see the corner mentioned in the song "Take It Easy." Once again no place to park but it looked like an old run-down bar with a couple of seedy desert rat types out front. They were watching a big semi-truck that had jammed up traffic in all directions. The driver was trying to get through a gate into a construction area (or something) which was against the traffic flow and there was a Mexican laborer half-heartedly trying to direct traffic and explain to the driver where he was supposed to go. It was hot and apparently rush-hour in Winslow, so there was a lot of honking and arm-waving and nobody would give the big-rig driver a break. I could hear sirens approaching when I spotted an opening in the mess and jammed on through, hoping I could plead tourist ignorance if the cops got me.
Taking it easy, indeed!

One thing I noticed were busloads of European tourists in all the towns. All the restaurants and souvenir shops were doing great. There were also big groups of high school kids who were spending money like drunken sailors on huge bags of Fritos, gallon-sized soft drinks and the like. At least they were polite and didn't jostle me at the counter.

All in all, an interesting look at what happens to famous American icons. If it was mentioned in history books or was on TV, there must be some way to make a buck off it.

...more follows...

Getting over it.

2008-04-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

It seems I was a bit optimistic about the availability of wireless networks on the road. California had free fast wireless at the rest stops, of all places, but I was in travel mode and stopped just long enough to try it out. It works fine.

At the moment, I’m staying at a campground that promised free wireless, but the connection is so bad it keeps dropping off even though I’m sitting under the antenna!
The front office was having problems too, so I guess I’ll just hang loose till I find a good connection further on down the road.

So far my journey has been full of ups and downs, emotional and physical.

A quick stopover in Sacramento with sister Nancy and bro-in-law Tom allowed me to fill up on Japanese food, which I sorely miss in Bandon.
My clothes hanger broke while there and Tom sprang into action, making me some new metal hangers to replace the plastic. I was impressed with how easy and fast it was to fabricate something in a good workspace. Looking over his workshop gave some me some good ideas for my future space.

I felt kind of guilty about just breezing through town, but if I visited everyone I wanted to see, I’d be there for a week. I think I’ll go down there and do that; maybe in the fall.

Heading down Highway 99, I was quite shocked at the price of gas. Some spots were up to $4.00 a gallon! I know our European cousins laugh at that but it’s a big shock to us Yanks.
I started having doubts about how long I could stay out on the road with gas prices going up so fast.

I spent the first night camping for free in a rest stop at Mojave, California. While there I worked out a few changes in van-housekeeping. You know, this needs to be here and that needs to be there.
I suspect that these changes will be constant, knowing how persnickety I am about having everything in the perfect spot, so motion is effortless and never wasted. Hah! How did I become cursed with that trait? My poor wife would like to know.
The Kosmic Joke Center at work again, no doubt.

My back started really hurting during the dash out of California. By the second night, at a campground in Holcomb, Arizona I was shuffling around like a really, really old guy. I was at wit’s end; too far to go back and a long journey ahead. With the double-whammy of pain and gas prices, I was really beginning to doubt if I could accomplish this trip.
I called Susan and whined about it then took a long hot shower and went to bed at 7 pm. I dreamed incessantly all night and woke up 12 hours later in much better shape, mentally and physically.

I think I may have been working out some separation issues or something. I find I miss my wife and dog more than I thought I would. Plus it’s not easy to get on a schedule while on the road.
I also realized I was too focused and anxious about getting to my destination. I was doing the opposite of what I had intended to be doing.

I was missing the pie!

So anyhow, I realized I have to stop fighting myself and come to some sort of resolution between my character traits and my desires. So I made an agreement with myself to just get to Kansas and deliver the bike, saving the roaming for afterwards. I’ll have my own bike at that point and will be able to stop worrying about it.
To alleviate my suffering, I’ll just stay on the main highway, do less miles per day (as Susan suggested) and stop a lot to see the sights, such as they are.
I now have plenty of time and feel relaxed.

I already feel better about everything and my back does too. What a relief!

…more follows…

Garbage Eve.

2008-04-14T23:58:00.000-07:00

Today, Monday, is garbage eve. The garbage truck comes on Tuesday morning and takes all the jetsam away. I'm planning on leaving at the crack of noon along with the garbage. Seems somehow poetic or ironic or fitting...your choice.

I tested out the campworthy-ness of my van the other night by sleeping in the van while parked in the driveway. It was very comfy but colder than I expected. The old sleeping bag isn't hacking it. I looked at the label and found it's good down to 50 degrees, so I guess I'll be making a stop at the Roseburg Bi-Mart store to pick up something a little heftier.

(At this point non-locals are wondering "what the hell is a Bi-Mart?" Some sexual weirdo-ism? Nah, it's just my favorite store here in Oregon. Think of a Costco scaled down to quarter size but with the panache of a Target. It's an employee-owned store so everyone is nice. I like that. My money more or less stays in Oregon.)

Hey...don't forget it's tax day. Cough it up, bro!

...more follows...

Flight delayed!

2008-04-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

First off, I figured out how to add pictures. I added a couple to previous posts to test it out. If you click on the picture you can see it in original size, evidently.

So, here it is the 11th and I was hoping to be on the road today.

Hit a snag with the trailer this time. I had to do more McGyvering and make several trips to the lumber store AND the hardware store. Got the problem solved and just need to rig up some tie down points on the bed of the trailer.

One great thing I've learned from this adventure so far is...I can still do stuff.

I've been sitting around wishing I could build stuff for the yard and do things inside the house, but my back is pretty much constantly in pain. So I've been putting it all off and hiring out any jobs that need doin'.

What I've discovered is, I was still thinking like the young carpenter's helper that I was 30 years ago. Everything had to be done fast and there was no fooling around back then. I still had that mindset but I just can't do that anymore.

I've found I can still accomplish things if I just take it slow and easy. I use leverage and dollies to move stuff around. I take breaks every chance I get. I measure 3 times, take a nap and then cut once.
It's slow but I'm actually doing it myself. Feels pretty good!

I'm starting to think of projects around the Rancho that I've wanted to do but have been putting off. When I get back I think I'll start on them.

But first I have this trip to get moving on.

I talked to Richard in Kansas and told him I was delayed and it turns out he'll be at home between the 23rd and the 1st. That gives me more time to deliver the bike and lets off the pressure. Plus I'll be able to take my time on my way to Kansas...which IS the reason I'm on this trip.

You can't find good pie if you jam down the Interstate with your eye on the clock.

...more follows...

Any day now.

2008-04-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

Seems like this is all about fixing up vans and nothing about a trip...but as the guru says, every journey begins with the purchase of a new power tool.

Today I finished getting all the doo-dads installed in the van and touched up some spots where the paint came off and orange was peeking through. ACK!!

The finished product has paneling on the ceiling, throw rugs on the floor, a bed, mosquito net, storage and "al fresco" closet. Also got my CB radio in and working and fixed the rattley-bangy back door.
My lovely wife Susan made some curtains for me but the velcro wouldn't stick to the interior panels. She super-glued the strips in place and got her friend with an industrial sewing machine to sew the other half of the velcro on the curtains.

BTW, the lady with the machine, famous artist Dorothea Tortilla, was celebrating her birthday today and took time out to sew my curtains. She has certainly received a hefty deposit into her karmic bank account. Big shout out to D.T.!! Yo, Happy Birthday!

Susan also talked me into getting the van's air conditioner fixed. I was balking at the expense but she reminded me that there's REAL weather in the midwest and I'd be glad I did it.
So Brunhilda is off to the shop tomorrow while I take a trip to DMV to see about getting a license plate for my new bike.

I also need to do a little McGyvering on my bike trailer. I wanted to paint it camo to match the new bike but have run out of time. Maybe somewhere along the road it'll happen.

Next step is to put everything I'd like to take in a big pile and see how much of it fits. I'm pretty good at traveling light. I figure if I really need something, I can buy it on the road, preferably at a big truckstop. They have the coolest stuff in those stores and great greasy meals at the attached restaurants.

So, whatever day I get out of here, my first stop will be Sacramento where I plan to eat some real Japanese food! And pick up some sake for future campfires.

Then it's on to Route 66. I'll let these ladies tell it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Imqg6sHS0Zg

...more follows...

The hardware store.

2008-04-02T23:53:00.000-07:00

Today I made 3 trips to the hardware store so I could drill a 3/4' hole in my van roof for my CB/ Ham radio antenna. Luckily, it's just a couple of blocks away and the clerk there is pretty cute. My tool collection is growing, one tool at a time.

Got the CB installed and mounted some foglights. Of course the foglights wouldn't work where I originally planned to put them, so it's back to the hardware store to buy some plugs for the holes I drilled. Hopefully that should only take a couple of trips.

They have a rack at the check-out with candy bars. The Oh Henrys are my favorite. They also have free popcorn. Not a bad place, all in all.

...more follows...

Naming the ride.

2008-04-02T10:16:00.000-07:00

Following the American military tradition of naming my vehicle, I'm thinking of calling my van "The Valkyrie."

I'll need some loudspeakers behind the grill to play "Ride of the Valkyries" as I pull into a campground. "I love the smell of SPAM in the morning. It smells like victory!"

I hope to find some custom van truck-ins during my trip. Most vans have a theme for shows. I'm working on mine. ;->

...more follows...

Holy Moley!

2008-04-02T09:37:00.000-07:00

It's the 2nd of April so I only have 7 days to finish up and get on the road.
I'ne chosen the 9th or 10th as my start date, seeing as how I have to be in Kansas between April 11th and April 17th.

All of a sudden I'm feeling pressed.

I finally got the van painted...a weird olive drab color with flat black grill, bumpers and mirrors. It looks like a WW2 Army vehicle. Everyone tells me it looks official, like it belongs to SOME agency...no telling which one, but "Let him through!"

I put the paint on with rollers and a brush, just like painting a house. Of course I did everything ass-backwards (next time I'll have it down.)
Unfortunately it rained for 3 days just as I finished and wouldn't dry as it sat in the carport. The rain finally stopped and I parked in the sun and baked the finish on, as it were. It looks a bit like velcro in some spots but it's not orange! Hooray. I'll carry a spray can of flat brown to cover any scratches or peel-offs. It will be interesting to see how the color evolves during the trip.
Best part...I invested less than $50 into the paintjob. Earl Schieb, I laugh in your face. Ha ha!

Next I got a bunch of plywood and boards to build a bed. When I got home I realized I was not Bob Vila and had absolutely no idea how to do it. Luckily a quick email to my bro Richard for help got me a suggestion for a design and I was off.

It took me 3 days to get the bed built, since my back had me moving slow. 1 day to buy and puzzle over how to proceed, 1 day to cut all the pieces at my friend Snazzy's house and 1 day to screw it all together.

I then decided not to waste more time trying to build a closet. A clothes bar across the back with a clamp to keep the clothes from sliding all over cost me $11 total and will do fine. It will also offer a place to hang one end of my mosquito net.

Now I'm finishing up the odds and ends. Putting in my CB/ ham radio antenna, installing curtains made by my long-suffering wife Susan and figuring out how much crap I can stuff in all the storage spaces.

It's hard to believe, but this van has way less living/storage room than my 71 or 72 VW camper. I guess it's all down to German efficiency as opposed to my hybrid-race shade-tree engineering.

Well, I gotta get to work. No time for dallying on the computer!

...more follows...

Gettin' ready to get ready.

2008-03-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

I'm one of those guys who owns a couple of cars at a time and is constantly trading, buying and selling them.
It's definitely not the way to build up one's savings, but I've had the pleasure of driving a myriad of cars in my life. From 60s MG sports cars, hot rod Mustangs, hot rod and working class pick up trucks, luxury cars, VW campers and vans.
(Just for the record my favorites were my "built" 1967 Mustang Fastback, my hot rod 1964 El Camino and my 1972 VW Westfalia Camper.)

Anyhow, I currently own a 1990 GMC Safari cargo van, a child molester's special with no windows.
It started life as a beer delivery van. They painted it blue, insulated the inside and put rough paneling all around the inside to keep the flying beer kegs from denting the walls.

The next owner owned a pawn shop in Eugene, Oregon where the law wouldn't let him put up an overhead sign. He painted it bright orange and stuck decals all over it advertising his shop and parked it out front. It sat for years with only occasional trips to the post office.

There is a law engraved on the wall at the Cosmic Joke Control Center that states any vehicle I find that is a good deal and runs great MUST be painted screaming orange, industrial yellow or some other painfully loud color.
With a few vehicles I've just gritted my teeth and driven them anyway but with most I've broken down and laid out the bucks to have them painted.

Not only was this van the same color as the county road crew vehicles (they always waved to me thinking I was on the team,) it had decal residue that would just NOT come off. People would ask me where my pawn shop was.
CASH, GUNS, GOLD, VIDEO EQUIPMENT screamed from the sides.
I tried every chemical I could find to get it off. I tried steel wool. Nothing would remove it. I'd bet a bag of donuts that shooting it into space and re-entry into the Earth's atmosphere wouldn't burn it off. The only recourse was to sand it down to the metal.
Since I was going across country, I needed to fix things up for camping; build a bed, rig up a place to hang clothes, etc. So I decided to paint the damn thing while I was at it.

A couple of inquiries at paint shops floored me. They wanted more for a paint job than I had invested in the whole vehicle! They wouldn't even give me a discount for being a senior on social security! "Screw this." I says to myself, "I'll do it myself."

I went down to the hardware store and looked at rattle-cans but figured that it would take a few cases of cans to cover that orange paint. The paint lady at the store asked me what I used the van for. I told her and she said "It sounds like you got a huntin' van. Why not just camo it? Use flat latex, put it on with a roller and you're ready to roll. You won't be worried about tree branches scratching it out in the woods. Just slap some other color on it to touch it up."

Perfect! my new motorcycle is a military model in Russian camo, so the van will match.

Kerouac had his Oldsmobile, the Merry Pranksters had their Magic Bus and Sgt Stumble will have Rolling Camo.

...more follows...

Choosing the ride.

2008-03-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

Remember travelling when you were a kid? "Are we there yet? When do we get there?" I've always had that feeling in my gut about work. When do I get to the end and get to do what I really want to do?

Well, I finally got there. Actually, I retired about 5 years ago (!) but it's taken me that many years to get my mind around it. It was impossible for me to undo 42 years of conditioning overnight. After all, I AM a first child.

Then I discovered that in order to figure out what it is that I REALLY want to do, I had to jettison a lot of material "things" that I had dragged into my new life. I discovered those things were dragging me down, keeping me tied to old ideas about what I had to own to be happy. Keeping me from being light on my feet and ready for new action.

Now that I've lightened the load, I'm still not sure what it is I want to do but I know I've always wanted to travel around the USA and see the sights.
I figure I'll follow that lead and see what follows.

At first I thought of walking. Very tempting but nah, too many weird people and you can't carry even a pistol for self-defense these days.
How about a bicycle? I've logged many miles on touring bikes. But back problems rule that out.
Next thought, traveling by motorcycle. Nah, not enough cargo space and motel rooms would soon empty the treasury.
How about the sidecar? More space for camping gear but the idea of sleeping on the ground every night (more specifically, getting up off the ground in the morning) sounds like an invitation to an addiction to pain-killers.
Then I looked at my van. Aha!

All through the 60s I was in the Air Force, overseas mostly. When I was discharged in 1970, I returned to San Francisco and an alien landscape. Men had long hair. Women burned their bras. All went barefoot, in spite of the piles of dog crap on the sidewalks. Graffiti on the walls said I should "Question Authority." All of this while the coolest music of all time played in the background.
Naturally, I was up for this! I let my hair grow for 9 years, joined a rock-n-roll band and bought a van. With the 8 track playing Van Morrison and the Allman Brothers, I explored the west coast, even down into Mexico, sleeping on a sofa bed in the back.

Now that's the way to travel. Comfortable bed, no leaky tent or wet sleeping bag, no motels and plenty of old time rock-n-roll on the CD player.

I can also indulge another passion of mine by bringing my sidecar motorcyle along on a trailer. That way I can find a nice place to set up camp for a few days and use the motorcycle to explore the area. One advantage with a sidecar is it's not threatening to citizens like a regular motorcycle. It actually encourages strangers to come up and start a conversation.

If there's one thing I really love about life, its listening to people's stories. Everybody, from the person that cleans the toilets to the person at the head of a corporation, has a story. Some oddball on a sidecar may be enough to get them to open up and tell me that story. And also to tell me where to find the best pie in town.

...more follows...

The journey begins

2008-03-23T15:37:00.000-07:00

When does my journey begin? With the first step out the door? Or back to the moment the idea of the journey was born? Or maybe back when I graduated from high school and set out on my own? Or how about when I was born?

Well, so much for the philosophical bullshit. It's starting now, with a brief overview for those who haven't heard.

The plan is to drive my van (1990 GMC Safari cargo, for those of you who care) with a trailer in tow, loaded with my Ural sidecar motorcycle.

The first known destination is Kansas where I drop off the Ural to its new owner.
The next known stop will be in Arkansas where I pick up my new Ural Gear-Up, a military model sidecar motorcycle, painted in Russian camo.
The only known stops after that are in Tennessee and Indiana. The rest of the trip is totally unplanned but I want to see the Great Lakes, Mount Rushmore, and Wolf Point, Wyoming.

No schedule and no time restraints. I'll just keep going till the gas money runs out.

My only requirements are to avoid any cities over a certain population (I'll work out the size on the road) and to only use backroads.
I'll be roamin' the lone prairie, hearin' the coyotes howl and eatin' home-made pie at every opportunity.

...more follows...